Surviving 22 Hours in Vegas...at the age of 30+

Y'all.

We survived 22 hours in Vegas...and I was not the first one to fall asleep! (It was Krissy ......just like I said, lol)

It can definitely be done and I'm alive to tell the tale (now that I've gathered the scattered pieces of my life). Disclaimer: you will be exhausted at the end of the 22 hours....in fact, you may get exhausted after reading this post. Also, there's a chance you'll lose your voice (and perhaps a small piece of your soul) on the strip. Don't ask me how....I still can't really pinpoint the exact cause of my vocal incapacity. If you were watching the videos I posted on FB, you'll notice it started early on in the adventure....I just............I don't know guys. 

When arrived on the strip just in time for the final performance of the Bellagio fountains. Then watching as Krissy and some other drunk chick danced circles around each other, trying to get their steps in before midnight. Steps...yes fitbit and Apple watch wearers can frequently be spotted running in place, hoping to meet ambiguous fitness goals in the middle of the strip with a large drink in their hands. 

We stopped at Hexx Kitchen for fuel before commencing the night's activities. Some man's BMW got towed, a bunch of drunk people walked in front of the restaurant screaming obscenities and I'm pretty sure a guy packing a naked chick on his back walked by....can't be sure tho. 

We spent the majority of the night walking thru different hotel casinos, and stopping at various roulette tables so Krissy could win (read: lose) some money. I don't gamble...so I sat there and observed as people cheered or shouted out in anguish as the dealer scooped up all their chips lol. Chancing away my hard earned money has never been high on my list of thing to do with my life.

At some point the homies were overcome with excitement by a restaurant called Earl of Sandwich. I got a good laugh when homie dropped the last bite of his coveted sandwich on the floor.

Tip: If you're gonna be out and about for a while and don't want to spend a ton on liquor in bars and clubs, stop by the liquor store in the airport or the more overpriced ones in the hotels. Either way, you'll end up spending far less and can put that extra cash towards the buffet. 

We made our way into Caesar's Palace. The club there is called Omnia, which is different from the last time I was there. Nevertheless, they were charging $150 for men to get in b/c Calvin Harris was DJ'ing. I wasn't surprised but I was also surprised....There wasn't a long line and it was already like 4am. Hard pass, bro. 

Let the record reflect that my voice was already fading when I went live on Facebook for the first time around 5am in Planet Hollywood. 

We emerged from the Aria at some point and realized that the sun was making its way up over the tops of the buildings. So we raced to the highest floor of the nearest parking garage and watched as the lights on the strip dimmed and the sun illuminated the sky. That was pretty cool...you don't really pay attention to the fact that there's mountains behind the hotels and casinos....Las Vegas is naturally very beautiful. 

This whole time we were searching for a Starbucks to get Krissy a caffeine boost but each one we passed was sealed shut for the night. Once the sun came out, we knew there'd be one open somewhere. Behold, just a few steps away, in the cold morning air, a Starbucks emerged and we popped a squat there for moment to recharge our batteries of all kinds (phones, lives, etc.). It was getting cold outside so I also opted to add layers of clothing in the middle of the establishment since the bathroom door was locked. 

We walked around a bit more in the direction of Caesar's until we reached our breakfast destination, Serendipity 3. When I tell you the size of my plate was totally overwhelming......that's not an exaggeration. The pic on the left is what they brought out to me....the pic on the right is what I was able to eat.....and actually my friend ate all my eggs.

So I've been to Vegas plenty of times but I literally never took time to do any of the cheeky, touristy stuff inside the hotels. Like the Venetian for example...did you know there was a gondola ride? Yes, I did too...but have you ever been on the gondola? Me either. There's a indoor and outdoor version. By the time we got there, the desert sun had begun its daily attempt at giving everyone heat stroke so we opted for the indoor version. For $30 you take a short ride in a gondola thru the Venetian's water canals. What you didn't know, is that when you make the last turn, the gondolier starts to sing to you. Y'all, our gondolier had the most beautiful voice. I was literally giggling the whole time. I wish I could have given him a standing O but we were in a rocky canoe in the middle of some cold water and I would most definitely have ended up overboard. Somehow we ended up with these beautiful orange roses.....nice touch, Venetian. 

So essentially at this point we were just walking about the strip doing the fun things that could be done in the different hotels. After the Venetian, we set our sights on the thrill rides at the top of the Stratosphere hotel on the other end of the world with the older hotels.

Now keep in mind that we had been walking all day, since like midnight. But our long legged friend decided that we should continue our quest on foot. It's 2.2 miles walking distance. According to Google Maps, that's about a 42 min walk down S Las Vegas Blvd. The task seemed daunting as we had been up all night....we'd already walked all over the place and it was hot by then. Nevertheless, and in an effort to make sure we didn't get accused of not being able to hang, we pressed on. 

So we walked....and walked....to parts of the strip I had never even seen before. 2.2 miles never felt more like 53 miles in my life. My legs were getting heavy. It seemed, though, that no matter how much walking we did, the Stratosphere was like an oasis in the desert (see what I did there?) and reaching it anytime before our departure flight was unlikely. So when our friend ducked into a store to look for a "souvenir", we sat down for a brief respite. We sat there long enough to think he got lost in the souvenir shop then found out that he had continued walking without us and was nearly to our destination. Glory! We hopped on our phones and called Uber to rescue us from our concrete bondage. 

In the lobby of the Stratosphere we had our first casualty. We took a second to plug up our devices and rest our dogs. She wont admit it, because at the time she was trying to convince me that she was looking at her shoes (lololololol) but Krissy nodded off....a few times. I told y'all she'd be sleep first. 

Do you like rollercoasters? I do...I haven't been on one in a while but they're always fun. And actually, in my teens I rode one of the rides at the Stratosphere with my dad. For $35 you can ride 3 of the 4 thrill rides at the top. I decided I didn't want to play Spiderman, so I passed on the one where you scale the side of the building or something crazy. Still insane though, I rode the other three (the website calls the "activities"....understatement of the year. These are more like calling on the name of the Lord and making sure you aren't going into cardiac arrest death traps. One of them is even called Insanity..........and that's the least of the three evils).......catch the look on my face. 

At the end of the rides I was nauseous lol. The smell of cigarette coated with vanilla in the casino was vomit inducing and I needed some air. We uber'd over to Mandalay Bay, waaaaaaaaaaaaay at the other end of the blvd. 

There's an aquarium in the Mandalay Bay that's full of sharks. It's called Shark Reef Aquarium...lol. For $20 bucks you can stroll thru and look at all the aquatic life. My favorite was the shark with the big saw on its face and the jellyfish. We got to touch stingrays too....it was pretty sweet. 

We ate in the food court and planned our next moves. I was tired and my body was telling me to go lay down somewhere but the day wasn't over. We decided that we definitely wanted to have a nice meal before we left. After some research, we agreed upon the buffet at the Cosmopolitan hotel, the Wicked Spoon. It was actually ranked as either #1 or among the top 3-5 buffets on every list we saw. By this time, my voice was fully nonfunctional. I had even received threats from a friend....drink some hot tea or else! lolololol. One of the stations at the buffet was making some steamed seafood in a bouillabaisse type broth with tomato and white wine base that really soothed the innermost corners of my soul. 

We sat at the table and thought long and hard about our next move. It was a little after 8 and our flight was leaving at 12:55am. According to Krissy's Apple watch we had stepped over 30k steps and more than 16 miles. So basically we walked a little over a half marathon. We were tired. Some of us (not me) started dozing off at the table so we considered places where we could go sleep that didn't include getting  a room. A google search turned up nothing promising. Then Krissy suggested going to the movie theater and sleeping and it was the best idea I'd ever heard. Who doesn't want to catch a nap in a cool, dark place with the TV on? But then maybe it got to feeling a little too sketchy and too desperate so we decided it was time to throw the towel in and head to the airport. With a little over 2 hours left we would go sit by our gate and sleep until it was time to board. We set alarms so we wouldn't miss the flight and caught a few very uncomfortable zzzz's. 

When it was time, we boarded the flight. I realized I had to pee just as I was sitting in my assigned window seat. But, at that very same moment I leaned my head against the window and fell into the deepest airplane sleep I've ever slept. I swear I don't know when the plane took off or landed. That whole period of time is completely lost to me. When we deplaned....I could have still been in Vegas for all I knew. 

This whole story just goes to show....I'm over 30 but I still have a turn up in my spirit (which may or may not require a 48+ hour recovery time).